Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Stripper Juice

So a stripper comes in for a butt abscess. I respect the ladies of the night.  They work hard for their money right?  Usually they are pretty street smart. But not this dumb ho. She must be stuck on the day shift. (She put on her demographics she was a stripper so there was no secret going into the room).

Stripper Juice: "Wow your my doc. Your pretty cute. You should come see me sometime."

ER Doc: "Uhhh what brings you in today."

She immediately jumps on the bed and gets in the doggy style position, ass in the air, and pulls down her shorts leaving has her nasty thong on. The smell of a nasty river took over the room.

Stripper Juice: "I have this big boil on my butt. Do you think I got bit by a spider!?!?."

WTF?? This lady slides up and down dirty polls that other dirty strippers vaginas have slid on, puts her ass on the stage and makes a V with her legs to get a dollar bill, and rubs her shit on countless mens nasty pants, and her thought is a spider bite caused her abscess?? I know most people think a magical spider causes all boils, but I would think a damn stripper would think their disease infested profession might have something to do with pocket of pus growing on her ass.

ER Doc: "It's possible it was a spider, but more likely it was from your job. How clean is your working environment."

Stripper Juice: "Oh its disgusting."

So Stripper Juice got a nice incision and drainage.  She will now have a scar on her ass...hopefully it doesn't affect her revenue. I wrote her a work excuse that said "no stripping, poll dancing, or booty rubbing until wound is fully healed."

ER Doc


Karen said...

Oh wow! I am so glad I didn't know about you till you came back so now I can join the fun! I hope you stay!!

hoodnurse said...

pole spiders it's a real thing

TinyRN said...

lmao,spiders...So glad you're back!

Shash said...

Glad your back. Save us from the pole spiders! LOL

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was Spider Man. She rubbed his pole and he shot out his web-like goo!

Candi said...

Seriously, what spider in its right mind would be up in her butt anyway??? Your description is seriously funny. Just found your site from Adventures of Hood Nurse, glad your back, now excuse me while I go read the rest of your blog & crack my ass up!!

Anonymous said...

Did a real health care provider write this? Hopefully your I-phone auto correct is responsible for the poor spelling.

SerenityNow said...

Re anon

Every time there are the pompous readers who think doctors should be great spellers. Actually, we are the worst

ER Doc

arzt4empfaenger said...

Okay, it has to be said that stripping can be done with style and be just another job, but yeah, don't work sloppily in a nasty surrounding and act surprised when you catch something! Or get caught.


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